Women in Self-Help Culture and Schizoaffective Disorder
Has anyone else noticed that able Women’s Self-Help culture is mental health obsessed and yet exclusive to women who don’t have any substantial or disabling issues? Those who are the kind of women who are out to dismantle things like beauty, fashion and men… yet are quite clearly on the path to proving themselves to a man to surpass our wildest expectations? I sound so negative, I don’t mean to, but I was completely abandoned when I started becoming symptomatic with Schizoaffective Disorder and I can never forget that.
I came across a Vlog on Instagram yesterday and I find out that a LOT of women don’t actually find the topic of mental health to be taboo. But what are they talking about? A women’s psychologist was Vlogging about beauty products making women feel insecure and telling them to boycott the industry, and some other videos about the biggest spiritual experience being that they age gracefully. Where has society been the last 10 years that I was drowning in my illness? When I strive for better it goes unnoticed and I believe we are here: Looking at their wrinkles we won’t treat with Botox.
As a Schizoaffective, sometimes during psychosis it’s hard to bathe and stay clean. It’s really quite embarrassing what we go through. It’s also hard to do things like brush your hair. Why would you immerse yourself in a culture like that and manifest your reality as ill and incomplete? And there are times I need help. We are not your guides when we have symptoms. And my husband knows how serious that is. When I’m healthy though, I like going to the spa and getting a good foot scrub and talking to other women during my pedicure. The ones who are sticking it out in esthetics. But behind it all, some of us are balancing life in this cancel culture who only feeds it’s flirty because I believed in things that harmed my mental wellbeing.
I see Health & Beauty products as REALLY GOOD for my self esteem actually; a great shampoo, some body lotion, exfoliating face wash? Stuff I didn’t have when I was HOMELESS or HOSPITALIZED on the ward. A nice coat, a new pair of Fluevogs. The reason I’m writing this post is that it feels like I can no longer connect with the ‘normal’ women who are immersed in mental health culture, and we are basically ignored by what feels like a gang. We seemingly have a lot in common with yoga and mental health but what exactly are you talking about? I see, rebelling from being an airhead.
It’s kind of weird to me that they want to be like some hygienically unclean Royals, ditch personal hygiene, and immerse themselves with an obsession of personal power? but also, they want to be like us; The Schizophrenics. Not dye their hair… not get eyelash extensions… not because the chronically ill don’t want to, but because sometimes we can’t afford it. Do you like to wear socks that don’t match too? And go to a psychiatrist? It’s weird that ‘normal’ women are going into therapy to exchange ideas and exclude anyone on any sort of spectrum? What I’m saying? Find your way, don’t find mine? There’s nothing wrong with you. You could be in a book club or heck, volunteering for an HIV clinic. But the truth of the matter is that many women are completely unavailable to us as the sick and the needy; as the Schizophrenics and the disabled who require a little more Tender Love and Care than other people sometimes. I have learned that I am completely marginalized as a woman BY women, who have a hate for things like beauty products, fashion times and the man next door. Where is this going? I’m trying really hard but it seems like I can’t make friends and also more importantly I can’t ask for help when I need it. You don’t answer. Nobody thinks of us, and there’s no traditional motive to being in ‘service’ to the needy or even, just a friend.
In a small town in Belgium called Geel, they have a Thousand Year Old tradition from a Saint named Dymphna who invited the mentally ill to live in their homes. That’s revolutionary. Cheers to you reawakening the Christian inside yourself because I feel like there’s a better perspective towards the sick. As a woman, yes I am woman, I shouldn’t be excluded from that conversation. I’m not just someone who’s ‘Sweet But Psycho’ (Ava Max), that’s a really important part of this journal. I’ve been incarcerated for schizophrenic episodes and it’s hard for me to find a space for me to talk about it. It is NOT a laughing matter and I am part of you, ladies and gentleman. And AS MUCH as you say you want to hear about women’s STRUGGLES, the mentally ill are excluded from that conversation. It just doesn’t seem like you are ready to hear about what we’re talking about over here. But we are women too.
My advice to any women looking for their real Spiritual Awakening is the opposite of what this season is saying about breaking ties with men who seem to be stalling. Don’t go running for someone toxic, but my modest advice to you, instead of pursuing someone who can already be your Instagram photographer, a Chef, an Intellectual and Lover, build something with someone who hasn’t figured it all out. Someone you can trust. A lot of successful marriages are made from that fabric.
I am feeling grateful for this community & to Fashion. This is a HEALTH and BEAUTY blog by the way. There’s so much here that I want to share. Thank you to the caregivers, friends and unconventional onlookers for being here. Thank you to some of the pioneers in Schizophrenia, for the books I’ve been reading. May your days be filled with inspiration and blessings.
