Men Validating Themselves Through Abuse

Firstly, thank you so much to everyone who supports me and my opinions on this page. Also, thank you for sticking it out with me in some of the heavier topics I discuss here. Today, I want to talk about violence against women in society.

I think I cracked the code in regards to abuse to women. I’m always wondering why is it that there are so many men who openly treat women poorly or even violently? I’ve been thinking about this phenomena for many years. Just this morning, I realized something about the nature of insecurity that may be causing these injustices. In the film, “Little Rascals”, it’s not exactly ‘violence’ against Darla, but a good example into the mind frame of both group mentality and Alfalfa’s insecure feelings that need validation. If you haven’t seen the scene, Alfalfa writes a nasty letter to his love interest, Darla. It goes like this:

“Dear Darla,

I hate your stinking guts,

You make me vomit.

You’re like scum between my toes.

Love Alfalfa.”

You can watch this scene here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7S2ffMUk7iI&t=92s

It dawned on me, that this is a NICE example of a boy trying to cause an upset to see how important he is to the girl. If she has a bad reaction, the boy understands his affect on her emotions. Thanks “Little Rascals”.

Not a work of Fiction, I was once sent a text from a man I was dating who fancied himself a pick-up artist. It went like this: “Nobody cares about anything you have to say, they just want to f*** you. What you have won’t last long. I have so many ways to get women. Piss off.” That was in 2015. If I had known what this meant back then, I could have self-governed a little better. He was validating himself through abuse.

Now, next to 'Little Rascals’ it’s very revealing. You can clearly see what the children already understood.

Are abuse situations the cause of female crisis? We sometimes penalize women with criminalization from a defensive position. I think the point of this piece is to break down barriers of insecurity and respond to violence more appropriately as an enlightened people. If insecurity breeds violence to girls, we have much work to do on our communities which involve some sort of emotional quotient work for both parties. Which we’ve never really done before in schools. But it is understood today that there is a toxic machismo that is illegal and also an abreaction in women to turn to misandry. Machismo teaches men to be the opposite of being ‘gentle-men’ and that is a start. But we also want the vote for girls to be complete and stable. I don’t want to discuss women’s roles in the home or at work, everyone can choose their own path (ideally) but we can’t just be working on girls like feminism suggests. We need more humanism, whatever you call it, and it applies to both genders. Irregardless of your denomination, being gentle is never over-rated.

I might not have all the answers but I do believe in love.